Furniture Store
by potato4
Summary: In which Hermione takes three of her friends to the furniture store and tries to keep them in check. She fails.


A/N- I'm waiting for AVPS to download onto my iPod, so I'm writing this. Loosely based (well, not so loosely) on my friend and my visit to the furniture store. Yes, we did much of the things done in here. :)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Ron tugged on Hermione's sleeve like a 5-year-old would his mum. "Hermione?" he asked. "Why's it shaped like a pyramid?"

The building in question was a large glass pyramid, supported by white bars that intertwined themselves between the transparent panes. A large sign bearing the name "Maggie's Furniture" was plastered in the middle.

Hermione sighed. "I don't know, Ron."

Draco pulled on his shirt collar as he walked on the pavement towards the building. "It's hot out here."

"I _told_ you not to wear your robes," Hermione said exasperatedly. "Good thing it's nearly Halloween, the Muggles will hardly notice."

Harry grimaced. "Remind me why he's here again?"

"Because he's my _friend_. And because you two have about as much taste in furniture as Umbridge." Hermione shuddered at the thought of her all-pink office.

Harry looked indignant. "I do not!"

"And that's exactly why Ginny nearly cried when she saw what you picked out for your flat," Draco said with a smirk.

"Shut up Malfoy."

"No."

"I said _shut up_."

"Make me, you-"

"Um... May I help you?"

Harry and Draco both snapped their heads up. A middle-aged woman wearing a blue suit was smiling down at them. Neither of them had noticed that during their argument, they had walked into the store.

Hermione cut in. "That's alright, we can find what we need."

The woman nodded and looked at the boys warily. "Good luck." Then she left.

Ron, Draco, and Harry looked around in awe at their newfound surroundings, all previous bickering forgotten.

"The football game I'm missing!" Harry exclaimed as he ran off to a flatscreen TV that was modeling with a couch set.

"Look at this quality leather..." Draco kneeled before an armchair and stroked it.

"FREE FOOD!" Ron yelled as he rushed off to a popcorn and soda stand across the way.

"No! Harry, come back- Ron, no eating- Draco, get up!" Hermione sighed. And there she was. Hermione Granger, 21, trying to teach 3 men of the equal age how to behave in a furniture store.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Twenty minutes later, Hermione had successfully corralled the three boys. Ron was gripping his popcorn bag like a life preserver, Draco was sniffing a nearby chair, and Harry was jumping up and down so he could see the TV, but at least she had them together. "Now remember," she said. "We're here to buy some things for our, Ron and I's, new house, so-" she looked up. They were gone. Sigh.

"Hey Hermione!" Ron was calling from behind a desk. She followed. "Look!" He pointed to a man a couple feet away, who was doing a demonstration for a small crowd. She watched as he spilled a bit of wine on a table, took a towel, swept it over the surface, and it disappeared, leaving no mark or stickiness.

"We need that table," Ron insisted. "You know how I eat!"

Hermione turned to Draco. He approached the wood and studied it. "Not the best quality... but I think you'll survive. And it's very pretty."

She shrugged. "Sold."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Omigod, Hermione," Hermione looked up from her furniture checklist. Ron was staring, amazed, at a plush circular chair.

And before she could stop them, Harry and Ron both pounced on it, squealing with the glee of a schoolboy as it spun beneath them.

Hermione looked up at the ceiling. "Oh Merlin above help me." Then she turned to Draco for help, only to find him holding a pillow over his shoulder, poised ready to strike the still-spinning Harry and Ron. When he caught Hermione's gaze, he lowered it slowly.

"Hermione... can we... buy this... chair?" Ron asked every time he spun to face her.

Hermione extended her foot, and the chair came to an abrupt stop.

"Aww..." Harry complained.

"No," Hermione said. "We're not getting this chair."

Ron pouted. "You're boring."

Hermione poked him in the chest. "And _you_ proposed."

"Fine. We'll get a nice, sensible, _boring_ chair."

The left, but no one noticed as Harry pulled out his wand and shrunk the chair to pocket-size, hoping that this might be one furniture decision Ginny did approve of.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Okay," Hermione said. "Now we need a couch."

Ron spread his arms out like an eagle and let himself all on a nearby couch, stomach-side down. "I like this one," he said in a muffled voice.

"Ron, that one has a flowered print on it."

"But it's soft!" Draco said as he stroked it.

"No, Ron, don't get that one-"

"Thank you, Harry," Hermione said.

"-get _that_ one!" Harry pointed to a ripped-up, studded, black leather couch a few yards away. Hermione groaned.

"Ooh!" Draco yelled, distracting the others. "Massage chairs!" He hopped in one, and Harry and Ron followed suit.

Hermione sighed in relief. "Alright, they're occupied." She went to look at couches again when Ron called out.

"Heeeeermiooooneeee... it wooooon't stooooop!" She turned to find Ron bouncing up and down uncontrollably.

"Is this thing supposed to be pinching my spine?" Harry asked with a wince.

Draco, on the other hand, was enjoying his massage with sipping a glass of wine that came from who-knows-where.

And going with her better judgement, Hermione decided to ignore them and went back to measuring couches. That was her mistake.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

1 hour, 2 temper tantrums, 3 broken massage chairs and 4 assistant managers later, Hermione had all 3 of her friends located within visual distance, this time in the bedroom area.

"Now," Draco educated. "You'll need the perfect bed. Nothing too springy, or too hard, or one you'll sink right into." He pointed at Harry, who was lounging in a mattress so soft he sunk all the way into it.

"I don't advise this one," he said.

"What about that one?" Draco pointed to a reasonably priced mattress.

"I don't know, Malfoy," Harry poked it. "It has to be perfect. The rest of Ron and Hermione's family depends on it."

Draco twisted his face in revulsion. "Ew, oh- images!" Ron and Hermione both flushed red.

They kept looking, and Ron wandered into the teen section. "Hey Hermione! I want this bed!" He pointed to a bed with high legs.

"Why?" She asked.

"Look, I can fit under it," Ron crawled under the frame. "It'll be easy to hide from you when you're pregnant and have mood swings."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No. We're not getting it."

Ron sighed. "Oh well. I'll just hide my soda under here for now." He placed the now-empty soda can under the bed and left.

A few minutes later, Hermione was discussing prices with a salesclerk as Harry, Draco, and Ron sat on the edge of a bed, waiting. Harry grinned as he saw a bald man approaching. He nudged Ron, and as the man walked by, he said in a particularly loud voice- "Don't you think bald people look _weird_?"

Draco and Ron sniggered as the man coughed slightly, stopped walking, then continued on, looking quite affronted. The next twenty minutes continued on like this, and the 3 had successfully lowered the self-esteem of a dozen or so people.

Then Hermione walked by, her hair covering her face.

"Isn't bushy hair so- oop." Ron stopped mid-sentence and smiled nervously. "Hi Hermione." She stopped.

"Isn't bushy hair so _what_?"

"Er... beautiful, darling. What bed did you decide on?"

Hermione frowned suspiciously but ignored his nervous tone. "I just finished paying for everything."

"Yay!" The three boys cheered together. "Are we going now?"

Hermione nodded. "Next we're going to the paint store."

Harry gaped. "After all of this... you're dragging us to the paint store?"

Hermione snorted. "Are you kidding me? I hired Ginny to baby-sit you while _I_ do the shopping."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A/N- I rushed there, towards the end... oh well- REVIEW! :D


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